Don't Buy Bitcoin

(This is not reverse psychology, we promise)

You definitely shouldn't buy this magical internet money that's been the best-performing asset of the decade.

And you absolutely shouldn't learn about this revolutionary technology that's changing the future of finance.

Look, we get it. You're curious about Bitcoin. Everyone is. But have you considered... NOT buying Bitcoin? Think about all the things you could do instead:

Keep your money in a savings account earning 0.01% interest
Collect rare Beanie Babies (they're due for a comeback)
Invest in your cousin's startup that's "like Uber, but for hamsters"

Trust Us, Don't Buy Bitcoin

Trust Us

We're definitely trustworthy financial advisors. No need to verify anything we say.

Don't Verify

Reading the Bitcoin whitepaper? Studying the code? That's way too much work.

Stay Traditional

Why would you want financial sovereignty when you can trust third parties?